


Above the Mistletoe

by nevercomestheday



Category: Fake News, Fake News FPF
Genre: (at the beginning), 2008, A Colbert Christmas, Bears, Bottom!Jon, Canon Dialogue, Cheese, Cheesy, Christmas Smut, Christmas Special, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 00:20:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10955781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercomestheday/pseuds/nevercomestheday
Summary: Yet another spin on the 2008 Colbert Christmas Special: What Could Have Been. Stephen doesn't let Jon leave without checking the upstairs window to make sure the bear is gone... and then Stephen has some feelings to work out.





	Above the Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another flashback fic! I know everybody in this fandom has their own version of what could have been under the mistletoe on that fateful Christmas Special Eve, but I wrote one too, because why not? And of course, this one technically isn't /under/ the mistletoe so much as it is... above it? You'll see.
> 
> "Stephen" belongs to Comedy Central (and the real Stephen) and Jon belongs to himself and I make no assumptions about anybody and this is a work of fiction and you know the rest.
> 
> Also, thanks so so much to my lovely friend Mattie for suggesting this setup and commissioning this fic!! <3

“Oh look, we’re under the mistletoe. Well, this is awkward. By Christmas tradition, we’re supposed to kiss.” 

“Really? In Jewish tradition it means we have to-”

**PLEASE STAND BY**

“...with a lamb shank.” 

“Well, I guess I’ll pass.”

  
  


Stephen walks Jon to the door, but stops him just short of it. 

“Uh, Jon? Could you… check for me if the bear is still outside? You know how I am- I mean, how bears are.” His hand is on Jon’s shoulder, and he’s all set to make the Scared Stephen Face, lip bitten and eyes wide.

“Stephen, there’s no-” Jon sees his face and softens, smiling gently. “Sure. I’ll check.” He peers out the door’s window, wiping the condensation off the window and squinting into the snow. “I can’t really see out this window… There’s a tree blocking most of my view. But Stephen, I am so confident there are no bears outside that I’ll even walk outside to prove it. And when I’m not screaming because I’m being eaten by a bear, you can relax and get yourself ready to go back to the studio.”

Stephen shakes his head, thinking quickly. “No! I mean, Jon, you said so yourself, your view was obstructed. You can’t go off a half observation! It’s just too dangerous. Bears are crafty, Jon, don’t you forget it. They know how to hide behind view-blocking trees. Why don’t you look out the upstairs window?” 

“Upstairs? You mean the bedroom window?” Jon asks.

“Yes,” Stephen says, smiling and pointing to the stairs. “Come on, I’ll show you to the window.”

He shrugs. “Okay.”

 

Stephen leads Jon up the stairs, hands lightly pushing Jon from the small of his back. He can’t help but notice how good Jon looks today- yeah, that big puffy coat is hiding most of his upper half, as is his scarf, but he’s not wearing snowpants, and his butt is still just as visible as it is in his suit pants every other day Stephen’s seen him at work. 

_ Wait, what? I’m not thinking about Jon’s butt. This bear must have me more mixed-up than I thought,  _ Stephen thinks.  _ Yeah, that’s it. _

 

They reach the warm cabin’s bedroom and Jon walks over to the window. 

“You know, this is a nice place you’ve got here, Stephen. Really beautiful decorating.” Jon begins squinting out the window again, going through the same routine of wiping the window off with the sleeve of his coat.

“Yeah, it’s gorgeous,” Stephen mumbles, eyes still trained on Jon’s backside. He walks up to Jon, stopping so close he can almost feel his breath bouncing off Jon and back in his own face. 

“I uh… I don’t see any bears here, Stephen. Just a lot of snow.” Jon frowns out the window, standing on tiptoes to look across the yard.

“You sure?” he murmurs, finding himself pulling Jon into a hug from behind. “I’m scared, Jon. I don’t want to get eaten.”

Jon blushes, feeling Stephen’s embrace and finding his nervousness endearing. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you won’t be eaten. If you want, I can walk you… to your… car… Uhh, Stephen? What are you-” He stops, feeling Stephen get much closer. A hand reaches up to pull off his scarf while another undoes the zipper of his coat.

“I think you should stay here for a little while, Jon… It’s safer this way, really…” Stephen pulls off Jon’s coat and tosses it aside, then pulls Jon in as before and nuzzles his face into Jon’s neck. “You smell like home,” he whispers.

“What? Stephen, what are you- are you trying to-” Jon starts.

“Shh, shh, don’t say a word,” Stephen whispers again. “Just… Let me hold you for a minute… I’m figuring something out…”

Jon furrows his brow, trying to understand what the hell Stephen is doing. He’s unable to come up with anything, due in no small part to the erection he can feel pushing up against his lower back.

“Stephen…” Jon turns around to face him, suddenly much less confident when their eyes meet.

He raises a finger to Jon’s lips. “No talking. I’m still trying to figure this out.” Stephen slowly lowers his finger and puts his hand back on Jon’s hip, pulling it flush against his own. He leans down and kisses Jon tenderly.

Jon wants to say something, he does, but all that comes out is a moan against Stephen’s lips. He returns the kiss, immediately lost in a cloud of lust and warmth and  _ wow Stephen is a great kisser. _

They slowly make their way to the bed, fumbling a bit in an attempt not to break the kiss. Stephen pushes Jon down on the bed, pulling back for a moment and looking into his eyes. 

“Have you figured it out yet?” Jon asks, voice husky.

“Almost,” Stephen says, leaning back down. He moves a hand down to rub Jon between the legs, noticing that he’s already semi-hard. 

Jon groans, hips lifting off the bed to push harder against Stephen’s touch. 

“Yeah?” Stephen breathes, suddenly out of words. He moves down to undo Jon’s pants, pulling them down halfway. “Wait. Me too.” He moves back and pulls his own pants off, tossing them aside. He realizes it looks a little funny to just wear his sweater, so he pulls that off too. Stephen’s glasses go flying with his sweater, landing softly on the carpeted floor. He’s too occupied to notice.

Jon takes the hint and kicks off his pants the rest of the way, pulling his own shirt off and biting his lip. He’s not entirely sure what’s going on right now, but oh  _ please  _ don’t let it stop.

Stephen looks down at Jon, blurry but still appealing, and tentatively takes Jon’s cock in his hand. 

“Ohh… Stephen, I didn’t think-” 

Stephen shushes Jon again, moving down to kiss his neck. His own erection is throbbing, the anticipation building with every brush against Jon’s leg. He lets go of Jon and moves to push his legs apart. 

“You want to?” Jon’s face is pale; he’s nervous but it’s a good feeling, a rush of adrenaline, and he feels so safe here with Stephen, as he always has.

Stephen licks his fingers and reaches down to finger Jon, starting slowly. “I’ve… I’ve never done this before, Jon…”

“Don’t worry,” Jon breathes, “neither have I. But- ahhhh- you’re already doing so… so well…”

Stephen smiles, pushing a second finger into Jon, and then a third, gently stretching. When Jon nods and takes in a deep breath, Stephen removes his fingers and reaches for the vaseline he keeps in the bedside drawer. He slowly strokes himself, lubing up, then gradually pushes his length into Jon.

He groans loudly, hand reaching up to grab Stephen’s. “Go ahead, you- you can go all the way in…”

Stephen thrusts the rest of the way in, his head falling back in pleasure. He builds a steady rhythm, squeezing Jon’s hand tightly and looking down at him in awe. Jon looks so vulnerable, so beautiful, from this angle. Stephen’s whole body is lighting up with every thrust, and he’s soon so overcome with both sensation and emotion that he leans down and kisses Jon, a hand moving back to Jon’s cock.

“Stephen,” Jon pants into Stephen’s mouth. “Stephen, oh fuck, Stephen…”

He feels himself approaching climax, so he quickens both the pace of his hand on Jon and his own thrusts. Hearing Jon whimper and beg for more, hearing him cry out Stephen’s name is too much to bear, and soon he’s shuddering and grunting and seeing white.

Jon comes a moment later, his hot release coating his stomach and Stephen’s hand. 

Stephen pulls out slowly and rolls over on the bed next to Jon, catching his breath. He’s still holding Jon’s hand, now squeezing it within an inch of its life.

After a moment, he looks over at Jon, whose big blue eyes are already turned his way. He half-smiles, feeling something rise in his throat. “I love you, Jon,” he says, almost too quietly for himself to hear over the pounding of his heart.

“I love you too, Stephen,” Jon returns, face flushed and warm. A beat passes. “Uh… Stephen?”

“Yes, darling Jon?” Stephen sing-songs, bliss on his face.

“This is a great moment and all, don’t get me wrong, but… Can I have some tissues or something? I’m… kind of a mess.”

Stephen laughs loudly and crawls across the mattress to the tissue box on the night table. “I can help you, you know. If you want.”

He smiles. “I’d appreciate that.”

 

Once they’ve cleaned up, gotten dressed, and made out a little more, Jon and Stephen return downstairs to sit by the fireplace. Stephen pulls Jon close to him, and Jon leans his head on Stephen’s shoulder. The fire is warm and crackling, the cabin is quiet, and for a moment, the world seems to be empty, save the two of them. 

It’s everything Stephen wished for for Christmas, and though Jon never saw it coming in a million years, it’s the best Hanukkah present he could’ve imagined. He’s not even going to be bummed out by the week of drek presents he’ll be getting after this one. 

Suddenly, breaking their silent moment like a rock through a window, a loud roar is heard from outside the cabin.

They both jump up and rush to the window, only to see a giant bear standing outside, appearing to be coming from behind the tree.

“Son of a bitch… Stephen, I owe you an apology. You were right. There is a bear out there.” Jon shakes his head in disbelief.

Stephen grins. “See? I was right! Crafty bears… Aren’t you glad you stayed here with me, where it’s safe?”

Jon looks down at the floor and smiles. “Yeah, but not only because of the bear,” he says softly.

 


End file.
